July 15th: Hinckley United v Leicester City XI (Friendly)
Yeah, okay, this is essentially a reserve game. But it's still an opportunity to see some of the squad in action. The game is to kick off at half past seven, so I need to get the 18.25 train from South Wigston in order to arrive at the ground in time, which means a rush out of the office at 5pm on the dot, onto the first bus that arrives to get into town, then another bus to get back home. Unfortunately, Saffron Lane is closed so the bus is diverted through Freemen's Common and along Welford Road, inexplicably adding about half an hour to the journey. I arrive home about five past six, meaning I have to wash, change and get to South Wigston station all in about 20 minutes. Never going to happen, which makes it fortunate that I always have understanding family on standby to get me out of these situations.
So it is then that I'm paying for £10 worth of petrol (only fair) to get a lift to Hinckley. Having been here before, I know the layout of the stadium. I pay my £6 and have a quick wander, pay a visit to the club shop and buy a badge (£3) and then fork out another three quid or so for an inedible hot dog and a drink.
[What does 'hot dog with onions' mean to you? To me, 'hot dog with onions' means a hot dog with diced or otherwise finely chopped onions - well cooked onions - on the top. I'm sure it means the same to most people. It does not mean a hot dog with gigantic chunks of near enough raw onion that are dumped on top. This, my friends, is inedible crap. It would've been inedible without the onion fiasco, but that just made it worse. While I'm complaining about shitty food, I recently went to a shop in Leicester - I shan't say where - and asked for a cheeseburger with onions. I should've known better really. What I got was a crusty bun - not soft, as requested, but crusty - inside which was one of the most unappetising meat patties I've ever seen, some melted cheddar and, yes, raw fucking onions. And then they had the neck to charge me two fucking quid. Two fucking quid!]
By the time I open my drink, Hinckley are in front thanks to a free header presented to Lee Collins. Not long afterwards, James Wesolowski's attempted clearance smacks into a United player and hits the back of the net - 2-0. A tedious first half rolls up to the 45 minute mark. At half time, I walk back around the back of the goal to my left and have a quick chat with well-known City fan Lee Jobber - very large, very tattooed, very LCFC, and a superb bloke. He knows me as 'that lad with the flag'. He's bored and is considering going to Cheltenham v Bristol City at the weekend instead of King's Lynn. I don't blame him. Fiver says he ends up at King's Lynn though.
Second half begins much as the first did, although one of City's half-time substitutes Billy Kee is making an impact. Within 15 minutes of the restart, he's scored after chasing the ball back to the keeper. 20 minutes later, the equally impressive Jonny Hayes (remember him City fans?) fires in a second. In the last ten minutes, I shuffle towards the nearest exit fully aware that the station isn't nearby and as soon as the final whistle blows I'm out.
I walk into Hinckley - the ground isn't actually in the town, but rather just outside its boundaries - and know that pretty soon I'll see signs for the station. So I walk. And I walk. And walk. Eventually, there's one hidden behind a hedge telling me to go abruptly left. So I do. And I walk, and I walk, and eventually I find another sign pointing right, which says 'Station ¾'. You've got to be fucking kidding me. So I walk and walk, and finally reach the station. On checking the timetables, I see that the last two trains to South Wigston - two stops away - are at 21.29 and 22.59. Is that insane or what? It's as if the rail companies give a few chimps some dice to come up with their timetables.
I decide to quickly go to Tesco next door while I wait for my 'taxi'. As I come back out, some kid asks if I'll go in the shop for him. Well, no, no I won't. Twenty minutes later, my lift arrives, and home suddenly seems a lot closer. All this for a reserve game.
Twat.
Final score: Hinckley 2 Leiceter XI 2
Time: 4 hours 40 minutes
Ticket: £6
Petrol: £10.01
Total: £16.01
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