August 18th: Sheffield United v Leicester City (Championship)
Straight to the station from work, I'm getting the 1804 to Sheffield. Well, technically, I'm getting the 1804 to Derby, then the 1828 from Derby to Sheffield. They're the same train, but I bought the tickets that way because it was £16.50 as opposed to £21.10. Sitting on the platform, several announcements are made about pending trains. The station announcer seems genuinely amazed that a train would go to Cambridge ("The next train arriving on platform two is the Cross Country service to... Cambridge!")
On the train I talk to Krystal, who gets off at Chesterfield and provides interesting conversation for most of the journey. She's pleasant and easy to look at, and gives me one of the best and most sane conversations I've ever had on a football trip (not that there's much competition). Shortly after 7, the train rolls into Sheffield and eventually it's time to start walking. Having been to this ground at least four times previously (each time for a defeat) you'd expect I know my way there without looking. Alas, no, I have to think about it a little. Eventually I remember the way though and I find myself outside the ground looking for the club shop very soon. I find what I'm looking for and quickly locate the mugs. A member of staff soon comes over to help - I like the look of the black ones at the top, but can't reach because I'm not 9'5. He pulls one down, and shows me close up. It's a pound more expensive than the others, so I ask why. The response comes, "Because it's a 3-D one."
"A what?"
"3-D mug."
A three-dimensional drinking vessel? There's an idea. He means, of course, the Sheffield United logo is slightly raised. Why this makes it any more '3-D' than any other mug is beyond me. I opt for a cheaper, equally three-dimensional (and, to be honest, more attractive) mug. I wander out again and start to make my way to the Bramall Lane end.
Inside, I decide to quickly find my seat. Unfortunately, Sheffield United have chosen tonight to adopt an amateurish approach to their seating arrangements and stewarding. I hear the dreaded words 'unreserved seating', which means a mad scramble for whatever seats are available. Happily, I find an alternative seat fairly quickly. Sadly, others do not. About twenty minutes into the game (incidentally, City have dominated so far) tempers are frayed a few rows in front when a couple of City fans are challenged by stewards for standing up in the seated area. They're standing up because there aren't enough seats for everyone to sit down. There aren't enough seats for everyone to sit down because some fucking idiot within Sheffield United Football Club decided on unreserved seating. They made this decision because they're a fucking idiot. Yet the stewards are acting as if the fans are at fault. They aren't. Sheffield United are.
The first half ends without a goal, somehow, despite City's domination. Half time passes with few hitches (apart from people blocking the gangways and bumping into other people) and the players come out for the second half. As Mark Bunn - who played a part in City's successful campaign last season - gets a ripple of applause from the visiting fans.
Seven minutes into the second half, Leicester get a free kick in the United half. The ball is touched right to Matt Oakley, whose low shot is deflected past Bunn by Matty Fryatt. 1-0 to City, and the entire lower tier of the Bramall Lane end goes absolutely mental.
The lead only lasts 14 minutes as Keith Treacy fires in one of those goals that you can't quite believe you've seen. The second it leaves his foot from 25 yards out you know it's in the net. Mark Bunn destroys what respect he had from City fans by celebrating as if he'd just scored the winner in the World Cup final. Cue dog's abuse. The last 25 minutes sees United put a lot of pressure on the City goal but to no avail - we've come out with a decent point.
I arrive back at the coach station well in time for the half past ten service to East Midlands Airport. Here I meet Alan, a man I've seen at several games but have never spoken to at any length. He's a long-time friend of Bob, who I last saw at Shrewsbury. He's also not missed a competitive game in about 15 years, so he's a little way ahead of me. Alan's original plan is to get the coach at 1.20 in the morning to London (where he lives). By my reckoning that gets him home around 7am. Fortunately, he ends up on the same coach as me (removing the need for a two-hour wait) which leaves Sheffield about 15 minutes late. This might be important because timing is going to be crucial at East Midlands Airport - this coach is due in at 23.45, and the Skylink buses to Leicester leave at five to the hour.
[I've said it before, so I won't bore you with an identical rant, but why is the last train back from Sheffield at 21.38? This isn't just absurd, it's beyond useless. There appears to be a bizarre assumption among train companies that nobody wants or needs to go to a city the size of Leicester after about 10pm. Given that we're talking about the tenth-largest city (by population) in the UK, I find this surprising. If it were Grimsby we were talking about, I'd understand.]
As it turns out, we reach EMA at 23.54, far too late for anyone (except perhaps Usain) to get to the stop in time. So an hour's wait is necessary (and, if I say so myself, expertly filled by alternately wandering around the arrivals building, needlessly checking my bank balance and inadvertently breaking seats at the bus stop) and before long I'm getting the 00.55 service back to Leicester. Almost immediately, I fall asleep and don't wake up until the bus is at St Margarets. Now for the fun bit - the walk home. Time check - 1.47am. The best thing to do here is try to beat my time the other night. After five minutes, it appears there's no chance - I'm far too tired to be doing time trials. In the event though, I don't do too badly: the journey is completed in an hour and sixteen minutes. Three hours sleep before work then...
Final score: Sheffield United 1 Leicester 1
Time: 10 hours 2 minutes
Ticket: £19
Train: £16.50
Coach: £12
Bus: £6
Total: £53.50
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