Are you sure he's Scottish?

October 20th: Leicester City v Crystal Palace (Championship)

Let's not talk about the first half. The most entertaining thing is Paul, two seats to my left, being in possibly the most cantankerous mood I've ever known. This causes some frankly odd abuse to be aimed at the pitch.

The second half begins with a substitution: lively but ineffective Lloyd Dyer is off, Paul Gallagher is on. Helen, sitting to my left, is visibly excited by this. She almost forgets about the pain in her leg.

[Helen has injured the ankle and knee of her right leg; these injuries are apparently independent of one another.]

The game looks different with Gally. Fifteen minutes into the second half, he runs into the area and is fouled. After a few moments, the referee makes a decision and points to the spot. After Gally picks himself up, Matty Fryatt steps up to take the penalty and hits it straight at Julian Speroni. Gally, who was practically in the six-yard box before the ball was kicked (a fact seemingly missed by Mr East), fires the rebound past the helpless keeper. City lead. Helen jumps up and down, further injuring her own leg despite my attempts (at her own request) to keep her still.

Nine minutes from the end, Gally sees a horrible touch by Danny Butterfield fall into his path and has no hesitation in using his first touch to lob the keeper from about 35 yards. Helen jumps up and down again. She's going to be hobbling home later.

News that Ipswich have had a possible first victory of the season snatched away from them at the very death of their game at home to Watford is greeted in the Kop by cheers. Liverpool's home defeat to Lyon is also apparently a popular piece of news. Coventry's loss at Cardiff is no surprise but is also cheered.

I decide to get the bus home, and almost immediately wish I hadn't. I hand over two quid for a £1.80 fare, but the driver protests that he has no change. No problem, I'll have it back when I get off.

[Now, you're going to think I'm being petty here, but I'm not. Bus travel costs far too much as it is without me paying extra just because they are evidently clueless when it comes to carrying change. Why should I be forced to fork out an additional 11% due to their poor planning? Fuck Arriva, I want my 20p back.]

More people get on until eventually the driver starts waving people away - the bus is too full. Bear in mind that I've just watched him, from a distance of two feet, accept several 20p pieces into his hand. A few stops later on, two people get off. A man tries to get on, only to be told that the bus is full. I look with some disbelief at the bloke standing opposite me. "But there's two people just got off" protests the man at the door.
"The bus is full" repeats the driver.
"But two people have just got off."
"It's full, I can't take any more on."
"But two people have just got off!"
"I can't take any more on."
And the man gives up, stepping back into the cold rain with a look on his face that suggested a mixture of anger and amazement.

The bus empties, and eventually reaches my stop. The doors open, and I step towards the driver. I wait. He just looks at me, as if not knowing what I'm waiting for. "Can I have my change now?"
"I've got no twenty pees."
"Yes you have."
"No, I haven't."
"I just watched you take several."
"Smallest thing I've got is 50p."
"I'll give you this 30p then."
Transaction complete. Fucking bus drivers - cunts, all.

Final score: Leicester 2 Crystal Palace 0