Don't go there

November 21st: Leicester City v Plymouth Argyle (Championship)

It's good to be back to normal. Last week, with no game I gave the remotest toss about taking place*, I decided to take a short trip to Northern Ireland - one of my favourite places to visit. In fact, I'd wager that Northern Ireland is a favourite of most people who have been there. Unfortunately, however, I made the decision to spend the weekend in Londonderry, a place which is sure to sully anyone's experience of the island. Londonderry (or Derry, if you prefer) is the Mansfield of Northern Ireland. That's all it deserves to have said of it.

[*I wouldn't give two shits about England v Brazil if it was played in my back garden; imagine how much I care about this friendly fixture being played in Doha.]

Anyway, to the morning of the first game back after the international break. I spend most of it wondering on several things. Why did Thierry Henry turn his back on fair play? Why did FIFA suddenly decide at such a late stage that the World Cup playoffs would be seeded? Is it the word 'fuck' or 'off' that that bingo-pushing bell end Mukesh doesn't understand?

The game itself is pretty much as one would have expected it to be - all exciting, attacking play from the home side, all ground-standing and time-wasting from the visitors. The only surprising thing is the lack of a goal in the first half.

At half time, it seems Birch has gone completely senile - he seems even more out of sync with his surroundings than usual.

The second half is slightly calmer but along the same lines as the first, but even as the clock touches ninety there's still no breakthrough. Even then, I say to the woman next to me that there's a goal in this. Sometimes you just know. Sure enough, late in injury time City get a corner on the right, Dany N'Guessan's blocked shot rebounds to Andy King, who prods the winner into Romain Larrieu's net. A previously tense home crowd bursts into ecstatic celebration - another three points clinched, and deservedly so, but the boys cut it very fine this time.

On my way home, a couple of other questions come to mind: When exactly did we become the team who scores late goals rather than the team who concedes them? And when will Mukesh get the message and fuck off?

Final score: Leicester 1 Plymouth 0